Merriness

Years ago I was at a Worship service and the worship had become free flowing with everyone singing their own song to the Lord. I found myself with my hand in the air making circles. I heard "Make it bigger" so I did. Then I heard, "Step under it" so I did and was singing, "You are King of Kings and Lord or Lords",when I heard, "I'm also Merry". Being very spiritual I said, "WHAT?" The answer was "How do you think a Merry heart does good like a medicine if I'm not good"? And it came to me that all good and perfect gifts come down from the Father so God is Merry.


Recently I've been listening to Graham Cooke teaching CD"s and he says that God is the happiest person he knows.


All this was brought to mind after I posted the last blog. God is showing me that the accuser of the brethren was right there pointing out my bad attitude BUT GOD was saying, "You just wait. She's more sensitive to my Spirit than she's ever been and she will repent". Then when I repented I sense Father was saying, "See, I told you so. She's mine and I will perfect that good work I've begun in her".


Growing up all I saw was frowns about how imperfect I am. And God was taught with that same attitude...He was looking for everything wrong I did and NOTHING WOULD EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH TO PLEASE HIM OR MY PARENTS. At least that was what I was taught and believed. God is still working on me getting the last vestiges of that wrong belief out of me.

A couple years ago I told Father that I knew I didn't love Him like I should but it was because there was something blocking me from receiving His love. And I asked Him to help me be able to love Him. I knew the truth in my head but my heart was really struggling with knowing and experiencing that love. So He's been bringing inner healing and I'm feeling, experiencing His LOVE for me. Now He's adding His Joy to it.


If He wasn't working in me I'd never have been able to receive His gentle loving correction. In the past it took me much longer to realize He was talking to me and correcting me. I love where I am with Him yet I know it will get even better. I'm not where I was, nor where I'm going to be. He wants me transformed yet He is not down on me. His desire is for me to walk in His joy and His love, not in a downtrodden state. As I know and experience His love I am being changed and it's happening more gently and more quickly than it did when there was a blockage to experiencing Him.


Proverbs 22A joyful heart is good medicine,
But a broken spirit dries up the bones.


Luke 15: "I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance"

FOXES AND FRUIT

"The little foxes spoil the vine" is a saying I've heard for years. Actually the Song of Solomon reads, "Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom". (Song of Solomon 2:15 NIV).


That old saying and the verse came to mind yesterday as I was getting more tired and judgment and bad attitude reared their ugly heads.


We were with my daughter and her sons at a restaurant. As I said I was tired. For three weeks I had not had enough rest, had been busy with grandkids (which I loved) and the fibromyalgia was trying to cause a lot of weariness and pain. We were eating and I was wanting more ice tea. It never came. Because of trying to keep the two year old happy I never looked around for the waitress. When we left my husband left a tip but was looking for more one dollar bills when I said, "She wasn't that good".


About 5 minutes later the Holy Spirit finally got my attention. I hated what He was showing me about myself. The waitress looked downtrodden and in need of love and help but I hadn't paid that much attention. He let me know that when I'm tired, hurting or challenged in any way the tests are more critical because they show me what is deep down inside. YUCK!


All this got me wondering about what the little foxes did to spoil the vine so today I googled "foxes". I found that one of their favorite foods is fruit. My fruit was devoured yesterday. It wasn't ripening and whole like it should be. The enemy's desire is to ruin our fruit, destroy our testimony and steal our joy.


BUT GOD has given us repentance, forgiveness, refreshing and restored joy. It is His goodness that leads us to repentance, His mercy that gave us forgiveness and His lovingkindness that brings refreshing joy. All of that runs the little foxes off, at least for a period of time. So instead of staying stuck in a place of self-condemnation (where I use to live) I'm praising God for who He is and what He's done.


With the help of the Holy Spirit the fox was caught before more damage was done, before more fruit was ruined!

THE PROCESS OF SERVANT HOOD

Servant. Servanthood. Bondservant. These words bring forth a cringing response for so many people. In our society being Number 1 is the ultimate. We must be the best, achieve, achieve, achieve that's what we are told to do. We are taught to reach the pinnacle of success. It looks like a pyramid with this wonderful point on top and the base of it full of those who have helped us or whom we have climbed on or over to get there.

As a Christian I am working on learning to serve others and in that to not think more highly of myself than I ought to think. Better put the Holy Spirit is teaching me. This process goes against my flesh--my human fallen nature. I want what I want because I should have it. I like it when I get what I want, have others wait on me, feel important. I like it when other's puff me up.

BUT GOD....

He says that if I want to be great in HIS Kingdom I have to be the servant of all. Paul called himself a Bondservant or Bondslave of Christ. He was imprisoned yet he said he was content and ministered to all he could including the man in charge of keeping him in prison and the prison wasn't neat and clean.

This last month has found me serving my daughter and her family. For a couple weeks I was at her house helping with her 3 boys (my fabulous grandsons). Then we came to my house where my oldest son, his wife and 2 year old daughter along with my husband and I reside. We have given up our room so our daughter and her sons can sleep as normally as possible. Consequently we are sleeping in our living room. My husband on a leaky air mattress and me on a bed that we brought from upstairs. Our living room is a disaster however I'd rather have them around than not. Along with this the pain from the fibromyalgia I keep trying to ignore is increasing. Then almost a month of lack of sleep and no true Christian Fellowship has my attitude trying to slip. Crankiness wanted to take over, then The Holy Spirit reminded me of all the times I wept in the shower because we had no family here. The word "balance" keeps coming to mind and I realize that it's my internal balance that has to become totally stable no matter what. I must have a quiet and gentle spirit. If I keep my mind focused on Him I will.

When we moved to this little country town across the country from where we lived I left a 3 year old grandson and a 3 week old granddaughter. All comfort was ripped away. Yet, God had told us to come. I have often wondered how Sari (later Sarah) felt when Abraham told her they were going.

Then I remembered Jesus. He left His home in obedience to Father. He served, and served and served. In fact when you look at His Kingdom structure it is an upside down triangle. The more you die to self, the farther down you go so that you can be a servant like Christ. It is Father who will exalt us and only if we are humble.

And the process will continue......................