CALIFORNIA

So far life has really been in the fast lane. In fact the other day I was with my daughter and there were 7 lanes of traffic on the freeway and we were in the diamond lane and had to merge over to get off. She began to do that a couple mile before our off ramp or we would have missed it. Life sure is different than in Glennville. Within a couple mile we have more traffic lights than in the entire county where I live.

I'm enjoying myself immensely even though I miss my husband lots.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

AFFLICTION AND JOY

Sometimes I am extremely amazed at how The Holy Spirit guides my thinking. It has to be His guiding because I am not geared that way.


The other day I was thinking about how our struggles and afflictions sometimes feel overwhelming. The term "momentary light afflictions" kept coming to mind. It's from 2 Cor. 4

16Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

17For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison,

18while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Somehow from there I began thinking about Jesus enduring the scourging and crucifixion. His Daddy, our Father, sent Him to go through that. Have you ever wondered how Abba felt watching His Son go through this? I thought about my kids and grandbabies and what I would feel if I had been asked to have them pay such a price. Everything within me rebels at that thought--at having them endure that, at me enduring that pain. Yet Abba Father GAVE His only begotten Son to pay for our sins.

We have all been crucified with Christ. Every illness any of us have ever dealt with, every pain we have ever had, every sin from Adam to the last human being was put on Jesus at His scourging and crucifixion. He felt every person's momentary light affliction, He endured them AND OVER CAME! He endured for the Joy sent before Him (2fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.)

The joy is doing Daddy's will and receiving His reward. The joy is seeing those who would repent and bring honor and glory to God. The joy is knowing other's would walk in joy because He wants our joy to be full -- " These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. His desire isn't for us to be overwhelmed by our sins or by the negative happenings in our lives but for us to be full of joy. His desire is for us to joyfully overcome (His joy is our strength) Part of His mission statement is this section from Isaiah 61

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise

It is up to you and me to decide to have this mindset. With the power of The Holy Spirit we will make that decision and our souls will rejoice, will praise and be so full of joy that nothing can shake us.

LEAVING FOR 6 WEEKS

Saturday, 12/1 I am flying to the west coast. I return 1/12/08. My precious husband is sending me to my kids out there for 6 weeks. He told a friend that part of loving a wife Jesus' way is being willing to die for her and that he has to die to himself and bless me and the kids with this. Not only will we not spend Christmas together our 24th anniversary is 12/30. I have never gotten to spend the holidays with Laura's two kids so part of the itinerary is: Helping pick out a Christmas tree, decorating the house, going to the school holiday activities. Natalie takes Hula lessons (I hear she is really good--blond blue eyed, petite hula dancer...should be great) so I get to go to her recital. Both kids are taking ice skating...My son has two teenagers who I will get to see, at least for a moment...you know how teens are. :=)

This week I have been so sick--sinus and bronchitis. But that has not dampened my excitement.

Blogging may be on hold while there BUT GOD has plans for me out there...whatever they are they will be good.

Have a wonderful Christmas and a year full of God's manifest presence, direction, love and joy.

PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS

Lately I've gotten a lot of e-mails claiming various negative things about politicians, certain religious groups and on it goes. The problem is they are all FICTION! The rest of the problem is they fit our preconceived idea of how people are, what they do or think. Occassionally there is a kernel of truth in them but it has been twisted--reminds me of Adam and Eve. When you come right down to it, these e-mails are malicious gossip. There are ways to check out things before they are sent on. When they are forwarded, without responsibly checking them, they make Christ's Body look really stupid. The World already thinks we are and I have to wonder if they are started to prove that point.

No Matter what the reason God's Word says:
Romans 1:28Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 29They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.


When we talk or pass on negative comments we are murdering the reputation of a person, stirring up strife, possibly being deceitful and obviously malicious. We are to love God, ourselves and our neighbors as we love ourselves (paraphrase of 2 great commandments). All the law and prophet hinges on those commandments. The above from Romans is a partial list of that which isn't loving.


There are at least 2 websites where the truth can be checked out:
www.truthorfiction.com
www.snopes.com


Lets not give the world reason to think badly of our Lord because of our preconceived notions. And let's walk in love, treating others like we want to be treated.

THICK HEADED ... BUT GOD . . .

For ages I had no vision for myself. Disappointment and crashed dreams brought in a sense of overwhelming defeat and fear. BUT GOD. . .

A couple years ago I was trying to increase my vocabulary and the first word I learned and the only one I remember was

factotum

1 : a person having many diverse activities or responsibilities
2 : a general servant

The other day when asking God what His vision of me is that was the word I heard. It is exactly what He's had me doing for ages. A little of this or that as He needs it. So God has a vision for me, He has dreams for me even if I am too thick to see them.

Then Sunday we were driving back from our daughter's and a business trip when my husband asked me what dreams had died. So I told him that I'd dreamed of the way I would parent and failed at that. I had wanted to use my mother's house for ministry after her death but sold it. (I am an only child so the house was held in trust for me) I had wanted to be a GRANDMA...kids at the house, etc. (We have 8 grands, one here, 3 in Fl and 4 out west).

I had failed in many ways as a parent BUT GOD has changed me and relationships are being healed and that dream is coming true. My idea for my mom's house had been for things like using it for missionaries on furlough, etc. BUT GOD had other ideas. Our home has been partially bought with my inheritance. We have had Bible studies, house church and at 3 different times young people who needed a place to live were with us. We now have family living with us. SO GOD used her house for ministry.

15 years ago we made a down payment on a rental house which now has a single mom and her 2 kids living in it. Our relator told us she took a chance on them and they have been great tenats for 2 years now. We have never had the house vacant and other tenants have received prayer they may not have had ascent for them. We have a grand daughter living here, I get to see my grandsons in FL every few weeks and they and I love it. On Dec. 1 I fly to CA for 6 weeks so for that time I get to build better relationships with my kids and have a blast with the grands out there.

As I saw this I fell apart. You know the kind of falling apart-when the Spirit touches you and there's nothing else to do. Just because it didn't look like I thought it would didn't mean those dreams weren't from God. It didn't mean they were dead. I repented for being so blind, dense and thick headed. One of my prayers has been for Him to open the eyes of my heart to whatever He needs me to see regarding Him. WOW.

Not only did my dreams not totally die but I am doing diverse things as directed by The Holy Spirit. Now I have to repent for how I resented my husband insisting on mom's house being sold. God did direct through my head...just like He says He does. DUH

Thank you Abba Daddy for being so merciful, so incredibly loving and giving so much grace to me. You are AWESOME and you, who measures the universe by the span of you hand, has revealed Your love and care for me.
Romans 5:5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

FIRST MEMORIES

My friend, Merrie, just did a blog on 5 things she remembers. It made me look back and I decided to do my first memory. Trains. I still love trains. My mother had to take me, at a month old, to where my dad was stationed in the Army--Cheyenne, WY. We went to Oregon months later and back to Illinois to visit and then moved in Long Beach, CA. I loved the way the train moved. It's probably why I love it when ships are moving quite a bit. I remember the smell of the dining car and wondering why the men would call for the last drink. My mom said it was because the state we were entering was a "dry" state. For the life of me I couldn't figure out how they could live without water. :-) I remember being terrified the train would leave without us and not wanting to be off the train long. Why I was afraid? Not sure. I remember having the births made up to sleep; being in a small restroom with a woman putting on her make-up (I have prayed for her every time I remember her.)

These are all wonderful memories. Maybe I'll go for another nice stroll down the lane some time. It was nice, but I don't want to stay too long. I'm grateful for now too.

Almost Deceived

The other day I saw an ad for Spirit Led Worship so I decided to see what it was about. The minute the website opened I felt that this was not led by anything Holy, especially not the Holy SPIRIT of God. But the site quoted C.S. Lewis. It was a very positive quote about Christianity. The title of the songs available to be listened to were either very Biblical sounding or the names of Psalms. The person's voice was beautiful. Oh, but the feeling of things not being right were so strong.

A couple friends of mine checked it out too. They found what I'd missed--I'm more audial than visual. They found this person is promoting the New Age. How deceptive. I was sure that was what was going on but what if I hadn't been in the Word for years? What if I hadn't believed Hebrews 5:14 "But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil". What if I didn't believe that Word means what is says when it says one of the gifts of the gift of Discernment? What if I was just saved the night before?

I have been praying this person will have the eyes of their heart opened.


Matthew 24:23-25

23"Then if anyone says to you, 'Behold, here is the Christ,' or 'There He is,' do not believe him.

24"For false Christs and false prophets will arise and will show great signs and wonders, so as to mislead, if possible, even the elect.

25"Behold, I have told you in advance.

Satan and his demons are wily. They are becoming more stealhy. I needed this reminder. Not that I didn't know it but it still made me feel like I'd been slapped in the face. BUT GOD is able to direct his angels to help us, he has gained the victory and has sent His Holy Spirit to guide us into all truth! Thank you Father!

. . . AS YOURSELF

While thinking about the Two Great Commandments and 1 Corinthians 13 I had a BFO--blinding flash of the obvious. The way I love others is to be the same way I love myself. Yea, OK you say, so what...Well the Holy Spirit quickened "patient and kind" to me. I am to be patient with myself and kind to myself.

That does not mean I can set back and do nothing--that's laziness. It does not mean I can do whatever I want--that could be lots of different sins depending on what I want to do.

It does mean that as I pursue God and study His Word and try to live it and know him I don't have to panic or be anxious. I can rely on God to get me there. It means that the "switch" my husband use to say I was so good at using on myself can go into the burn pile because I can give myself grace and mercy. Father gives it to me. By encouraging myself in Him I'm giving grace and mercy to me.

The thought, "He's cheering me on to victory", just popped into my head and heart! What a delightful thought.

LOVER OR HATER

One day it was pointed out to me that if I don't walk in love then I walk in hate. OUCH. So what does it look like to be a lover?or a hater?

Love is patient ~ impatient

love is kind ~unkind

is not jealous ~ jealous, envious, covetuous

love does not brag ~ braggadocious

is not arrogant ~ proud

does not act unbecomingly ~ acts appropriately

does not seek its own ~ looks for the good for others

is not provoked ~ keeps their peace

does not take into account a wrong suffered ~ is Christlike in all unpleasant dealings with others

does not rejoice in unrighteousness ~ keeps a pure heart


FROM THE MESSAGE
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,


Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always, Always looks for the best,
Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

Father, This is how you love me. Deepen, please, the revelation of your love for me so I can love you more and love others, In Jesus Name.

GOD'S MANTLES

I was going to do more on what a bargain walking with God is--even though it costs us everything! Today I received this in my e-mail and you will see why I had to post it.

October 19, 2007

Matt Sorger:

"HEAVEN IS RELEASING NEW ASSIGNMENTS--PICK UP YOUR MANTLE"

"Never forget that mantles always have a price. Salvation is free, but the weight of His glory will cost you something."

THE MANTLE ROOM OF HEAVEN

I was recently caught up into a Heavenly visitation during one of our "Awakening Gatherings." That morning, as I stood to the pulpit to preach, I was instantly brought into an "open-eyed vision" where I was taken to a room in Heaven. Peering through the door, I could see many robe-like garments hanging along the wall. As I entered into the room, I could see that these garments were different sizes and patterned with many different colors. I intuitively knew that this was the "Mantle Room of Heaven." The Lord spoke to my heart, telling me that these garments were mantles He created and prepared for His people to wear on the earth. They would empower His children to fulfill their Heavenly callings and mandates.

In my vision of the Mantle Room, I saw that not one of these mantles were the same. Each was a unique size and color. I understood that God did not want carbon copies, but originals. He has a unique mantle made just for you. God does not want you to pattern yourself after another person or ministry. He wants you to be uniquely you. There is an aspect of His nature and power that He wants to display through your life. Each mantle, when worn by an individual on the earth, expresses a unique facet of God's nature and glory in Heaven.

Get ready! Some of these mantles are right now hovering over the Church and are about to be released in the earth. God is looking for those He can place them on. Some mantles will resemble things we have seen and are familiar with, while others will empower people to do things that have never been done before this time in history! God is looking for those He can anoint with fresh oil.

NEW MANTLES ARE ABOUT TO BE RELEASED

In a recent dream, the Lord showed me one of the mantles about to be released over the corporate Body of Christ. In my dream, I was in a house full of people. I heard a knock at the door and went to open it. When I opened the door, a very elderly woman was standing there. She could barely stand and looked like she was just about to pass over into eternity. I instantly recognized her. She was a very old "Kathryn Kuhlman." I reached down and put my arms under her, picked her up and carried her into the house. As I stepped over the threshold into the house, I awoke from my sleep. --End of dream.

For weeks I prayed over this dream, asking God for understanding. As I waited on the Lord, He began to unfold its meaning to me.

The Lord used the picture of Kathryn Kuhlman (along with her age) to symbolically speak to me. Once again, there is about to be released over the Church, a mantle that is similar to the one this great woman of God wore. Not only will it release mass miracles, but it is deeply connected to our level of intimacy with the Person of the Holy Spirit. It is a mantle of extraordinary power as well as deep intimacy with God. This mantle releases creative miracles as the atmosphere of Heaven is released in and over our lives. This type of mantle will not just cover one or two. God is wanting to release it over the Corporate Body. But it does require something....

It requires a life of complete surrender, obedience and death to self. It requires a lifestyle of deep communion with God. This mantle is being made available to all who want it and are willing to pay the price that goes along with it. Never forget that mantles always have a price. Salvation is free, but the weight of His glory will cost you something. With power comes responsibility. The heavier the mantle God gives you, the more dead to self you must be.

We can see the weight of responsibility that goes along with receiving a mantle in Numbers 11:17. The Lord said to Moses, "I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take of the Spirit that is on you and put the Spirit on them. They will help you carry the burden of the people so that you will not have to carry it alone." Not only was the "authority" of Moses transferred to 70 people, the "responsibility" of bearing the burden of the people came with it.

BEING IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME

In my dream, it was significant that I had to pick Kathryn Kuhlman up. When God releases a mantle, we must pick it up! There is an action required on our part. When the mantle fell from Elijah, Elisha had to bend down and pick up that mantle. When he did, the Spirit of the Lord came upon him. Elisha had to be in the right place at the right time to receive that mantle. It required persistence, determination and faithfulness on his part so he would be correctly positioned to receive the mantle when the time came for it to be released.

The same is true for us. It does matter where you are and who you are hanging out with! Some visitations from the Lord require you being in a specific place at a specific time. It is crucial that we are where God wants us to be, so that He can visit us in such a way to release the new mantles He has for us.

I know each time I have received a mantle from the Lord, it has been in a specific place and time. Each time I was exactly where the Spirit wanted me to be. For example, the Lord led me to be in Moriah Chapel in Wales during the 100-year anniversary of the Welsh Revival. It was during this special time of prayer and seeking the Lord that I had a deep encounter with the "Revival Mantle." I could physically feel a blanket-like garment being draped over my legs and around my waist. God gave me a very deep revelation on the true meaning of revival, but that is for another article.

Another time I was in Europe, ministering with an evangelist friend in Estonia, who was doing some large evangelistic crusades when the "Mass Crusade Mantle" came upon me. I was standing on the platform when it happened. The anointing for miracles and mass salvation came into the meeting. As I was standing on the right side of the platform, it felt like someone placed a blanket over my head, shoulders and arms. There was a new mantle for mass crusades being placed on my life. This mantle was released in the midst of the glorious atmosphere of a mass crusade meeting. I was in the right place at the right time. Just three months later, I held my first mass crusade in India. Multitudes were saved, healed of sickness and delivered from demonic oppression!

WHAT TYPES OF MANTLES CAN WE EXPECT TO SEE?

I want to briefly share with you four mantles that we can expect to see released in this next season. This is by no means an exclusive list. There are many other mantles to pick up and receive besides the four I am about to share. I simply want to highlight some of the mantles the Lord has highlighted to me.

The first is connected to the dream I had concerning Kathryn Kuhlman. This mantle is a "Mantle of Glory and Creative Miracles." It will bring a keen sensitivity to the Person of the Holy Spirit and will release amazing signs and wonders, not just inside church buildings, but everywhere His people carry His glory. The Lord recently spoke to me that He was raising the standard in the healing movement once again. Matthew 12:15 says, "He healed them ALL."

This outpouring will release an even greater wave of signs and wonders, not just in the church services, but in the marketplace. God is looking for vessels He can endue with power out in the marketplace. We will see "backyard miracles" in mass--miracles in the homes, in the workplace, out on the streets, in the hospitals and in the malls. We will see creative miracles everywhere God's people go, releasing the power of the Kingdom into this present age.

The second is a "Mantle of Mass Deliverance." Not only will we see mass miracles, but there is also a wave of mass deliverance coming. People that have struggled in areas of their lives for years will receive breakthrough as the fire of deliverance is released into their lives. I encourage you to pray this prayer, "Lord, uncover and expose every area of darkness in my heart." As you do, God will release by His Spirit, a deep deliverance in your life.

Just as the Lord delivered Israel out of the hands of the Egyptians in mass, so God will deliver His people in mass. And we are not coming out empty-handed. This is where we will see the supernatural divine transfer of wealth which the prophets have been proclaiming. Mass deliverance is connected to the release of this divine transfer (see Exodus 3:20-22).

The third is a "Mantle of Supernatural Favor." God is placing mantles of favor upon His children in this hour. It's the type of favor that God placed on Isaac as he was taking possession of the land of his inheritance in Genesis 26. As he contended for what God said was his, the Lord eventually even caused his enemies to want to be at peace with him. Isaac eventually came into a place of total fulfillment and rest as he dug a well and called the name of the place Beersheba, meaning "Well of the Seven." Seven speaks of "fulfillment, completion and rest." Favor makes a way where there seems to be no way and causes you to receive all God has for you.

The fourth is a "Media Mantle." We will see a "Media Revival" with a move of God spreading through the airwaves. The Lord spoke to me that He is raising up TV networks that will help facilitate this end time move of God. GodTV is one of those networks. But there are more. Jesus will even be glorified over the secular networks! God is placing Media Mantles on people who will glorify His name through various media outlets.

As we move into this next season, I encourage you to stay sensitive to the voice of the Spirit as He leads you into times of prayer and waiting on Him. This will prepare you to be fully ready for all that He wants to release in and through your life. Get ready to pick up your mantle!

Matt Sorger
Matt Sorger Ministries
Email: info@mattsorger.com

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FREE BUT COSTS EVERYTHING

Today my husband and I were talking about how our salvation is free but to truly follow God it costs us everything.


When we moved to Georgia we knew we were doing what God told us to do. His wisdom in not telling us what we would go through is phenomenal. If we had any idea how hard these last 14 years would be nothing would have budged us. BUT GOD is wise and called us to a deeper level with Him and got us to the place where we could begin to get there.


Both God and satan want the same thing--they want us dead. It is just that God has something awesome to bring to life in us as we die to ourselves. Satan wants us totally destroyed.


I left a 3 year old grandson and 3 week old granddaughter when we moved here, along with 3 of my kids. BUT GOD said go and if I had not obeyed knowing Him like I do now probably wouldn't have happened. It's been very painful at times. Loneliness and depression tried to swallow me up and I almost let them, BUT GOD, brought me out of it. He has given me a hope that I didn't know was possible to have. He has gotten rid of some of my pride (do we ever get rid of all of it this side of eternity?).


His free gift is eternal life but to grow with Him, to know Him more costs everything. What a bargain!

WOW 44

Years ago I kept seeing multiples of 4. The Holy Spirit finally got me to Isaiah 44:4 which basically (because of verse 3) says my offspring and descendants will be strong as poplars planted by streams of water. I have planted a poplar tree as a memorial to this. However, recently, I've been seeing multiple of 4's again. Yesterday my husband posted the following on his blog...

As I wrote before, the numbers for the Messiah are 4, 40, and 400. The fourth letter in the Hebrew alphabet is Daleth. Its symbol is a door. The 40th number in Hebrew is the letter Mem. It is pronounced like a "m", and its symbol is a wave as in an ocean wave. I told you before that the number 400 is a Tau and means the end.
Where do you begin with Christ as the door? John wrote about a door in John chapter 10. Paul wrote about an door being opened to him in 1 and 2 Cor. James 5:9 about the judge at the door. Then Christ speaks in Rev 3:8 and 20. The more you look for Christ the greater He shows up!
The Hebrew writers use a word for wave that also refers to springs of waters gushing upward out of the ground. Strong's # 1530. One thing I like to do with the Hebrew alphabet is to put the letters together and see what word they form. If you but Daleth and mem together you find a word that is translated "Blood", and is Strong's #1818. The definition in Strong's reads: Blood (as that which when shed causes death) of man or an animal; by anal.the juice of the grape; fig. Bloodshed(i.e. drops of blood):- blood (-y, -guiltiness, [thirsty], + innocent. The root word it comes from is Strong's # 1826. The definition is: to be dumb; by impl. to be astonished, to stop; also to perish:- cease, be cut down (off), forbear, hold peace, quiet self, rest, be silent, keep (put to) silence, be (stand), still, tarry, wait.
So the Hebrew alphabet means something! The words down to the letter means things. The numbers of the Messiah shows His mission on Earth, to be the door to an intimate relationship with the father. The means to accomplish that mission, the shedding of His Blood. How he conducted Himself during the shedding of His Blood, silent like a lamb to slaughter. And that this was completed by the letter tau as the end of the alphabet. 4, 40, 400. The numbers of Messiah.

CITY COMES TO THE COUNTRY

Most of you know that I grew up in Los Angeles County California. My dad loved Roses so we had beautiful ones. Until I was in 5th grade we didn't have a vehicle so we walked to the grocery store for all our food. Our dog was a house dog. She loved me, slept with me and went to the vet once a year for her shots. She ate table scraps.

The day after graduating from 8th grade we moved. The house my parents owned had two fruit trees so we had wonderful peaches and plums. My dad loved Roses so he planted a Rose Garden.

You now have the extent of my knowledge about country life. Food came from the store and animal husbandry consisted of a dog sleeping with me.

When my husband and I moved to Georgia my ignorance of agrarian life shown brightly.

The first part of my education was that people didn't have a pig ranch they had a hog farm. I thought farming was something that happened in the ground...well when you look at hog wallowing in the mud the word "farm" begins to makes sense.

Next was the day Garry said that they were getting the pine straw for the animals. My brilliant question was, "Do they eat that"? Hay, straw, pine straw...what do I know? It gave him a good laugh and reminded him that I was truly ignorant of the basics of life and survival without a grocery store and money would be very difficult for me.

Today I took my granddaughter outside. She's 2.5 and we had a good time. The vines that I've been told for years are grapes had something beautifully purple growing on them. They don't look like grapes to me and the birds hadn't seemed to eat them but I laughed. Laughed because I love purple and lavender and my husband has told me that there is ENOUGH of that color in the house and that he didn't want any more. I have no idea if those are wild grapes or what but they are purple! And they aren't in the house!

The picture at the beginning is the purple whatever. If you know what it is please let me know. In the mean time I'm going to enjoy learning to live in the country.

DETAILS ~ RELATIONSHIPS

A friend and I were talking about ministry. She mentioned a friend of hers who said that God is interested in the details of the ministry. However, she said she believed He was interested in the details of the relationships in the ministry. This set me thinking.

Looking back on ministries I've been involved in when things have gone downhill, in the negative way, I can see where relationships were the cause. People became offended, they didn't care what other people thought, they became offenders. I can see where elitism, control, dominating attitudes, arrogance, and pride have really stopped what seemed to be, and I believe was, God moving in our midst. It seems that we forgot to be kind to one another, forgiving as Christ has forgiven us. We forgot that we are all imperfect and in process and that so and so hurts in ways I don't and I hurt in ways they don't and that the pain can cause lots of misunderstandings that grace is needed for. Blatant sin can not be tolerated but I can see how I and others judged someone's words, actions, body language as something that person never meant...we were the sinners because we judged them.

When I have seen God move the most powerfully people have been in harmonious relationship with each other and Him. So if I'm sensing a ministry isn't what I think it should be, what I want it to be or if I am having problems with it I guess I'd better check out my relationship with the people. Am I being loving and forgiving? Is it my pride that is hurt? Can I disagree and see things from a different perspective and not be disagreeable or angry if they don't see things my way? In some cases there may be something horribly wrong but I need to make sure of where my heart is and how my relationships are.

The ministry statement of Jesus is Luke 4:18
"THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS UPON ME,
BECAUSE HE ANOINTED ME TO PREACH THE GOSPEL TO THE POOR.
HE HAS SENT ME TO PROCLAIM RELEASE TO THE CAPTIVES,
AND RECOVERY OF SIGHT TO THE BLIND,
TO SET FREE THOSE WHO ARE OPPRESSED

That talks about people.

The two great commandments are, in a nutshell, Love God, Love others as yourself. That does not talk about a building or a program. That is relationship.

VACATION

My husband and I are on vacation and won't be on-line until the 8th of October. I am very excited to have this time with him.

A LOVER

What are the characteristics of a lover?

They are consumed with the thought of their beloved. They want to spend all their time with them. To do for and give to them. They want emotional intimacy with them. There is a desire to be loved back. They want the very best for the person.

Merriam Webster’s on-line dictionary (m-w.com) gives this definition of lover:

Function: noun
1 a : a person in love; especially : a man in love with a woman b plural : two persons in love with each other
2 : an affectionate or benevolent friend
3 : DEVOTEE

Number 3 really got my attention so I had to look up “devotee” and “devote”.

Main Entry: dev·o·tee
Function: noun
: an ardent follower, supporter, or enthusiast

Main Entry: de·vote
Function: transitive verb
1 : to commit by a solemn act
2 : to give over or direct (as time, money, or effort) to a cause, enterprise, or activity

synonyms DEVOTE, DEDICATE, CONSECRATE, HALLOW mean to set apart for a special and often higher end. DEVOTE is likely to imply compelling motives and often attachment to an objective . DEDICATE implies solemn and exclusive devotion to a sacred or serious use or purpose . CONSECRATE stresses investment with a solemn or sacred quality . HALLOW, often differing little from dedicate or consecrate, may distinctively imply an attribution of intrinsic sanctity .

Father loves us so passionately that His only begotten Son, Jesus, died and rose from the dead for us. This was both Father’s and Jesus solemn act. He has given over all for us. He watches over us: Deuteronomy 32 9 But the LORD's portion is His people,
Jacob, His own inheritance.
10 He found him in a desolate land,
in a barren, howling wilderness;
He surrounded him, cared for him,
and guarded him as the pupil of His eye. (A)
11 He watches over His nest like an eagle
and hovers over His young;
He spreads His wings, catches him,
and lifts him up on His pinions

His compelling motive is our redemption--a much higher end, a huge good.


Because God first loved us we can love Him back. Because He is passionate about us we can be passionate about Him. He is our lover. Everything above applies to how He loves us. When we grasp how thorough and intense and passionate His love for us is our love for Him will grow. As that grows so will our desire to obey Him, to be with Him, to be transformed into His image.

AWE

When I was 7 I made my first communion. Disappointment flooded me because I had expected a personal encounter with Jesus. As I knelt and prayed, like I'd been religiously taught, I didn't find Him.

Later that day friends were driving my parents and me along with their daughter through the Palos Verde Peninsula in Southern California. I was looking out the window thinking, "Is that all there is?" when my mother asked me if I was happy. I knew better than to tell the truth so I lied and said, "Yes" with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. For years I did all the right religious things according to the church that man instituted and NOTHING happened except I grew more rebellious and cold hearted. At some juncture I remember wondering what it would take to change my cold hard heart because I wasn't able to.

After having 5 children in less than 4 years I ended up divorced. 3 years into that divorce I found out that the Bible says I'm saved by grace through faith, not works. Right then I received Jesus as my Savior and many things changed but there was still some hardness of heart that I didn't want and I still didn't have a PERSONAL relationship with Him, even though I said I did. Experiencing God was frowned upon. I still don't know why.

Three years after being saved I met my husband. He married me and took on 5 teenagers too. (That's a whole other story). Ten years later God moved us to a little farming town in S.E. Georgia. It was a very different environment from Southern California. He put us in a church with precious people and dried us out really good. He wanted us to be ready to take a good drink of His Spirit. We did but still I could not feel God's love. A MorningStar prophet told me that and as I cried like a baby she wrapped her warms around me because Father told her to hug me for Him. That started a little crack which would later become a full blown fisure.

During the next few years God did things gently with me. Once during a worship time at a church we were involved with I felt laughter bubbling up and since I was the only one who seemed to be experiencing this I tried not to give in believing it was my flesh. However, God finally pursued me until I fell on the floor laughing so hard I was almost crying. Two days later I realized that what I had been sensing within the core of me as a concrete urn with concreted hands holding it in place had totally vanished!

Process was still happening! Then about a year ago I realized that the Bible says I love God because He first loved me and that in order for me to be truly transformed and to really love Him I had to have a revelation of that love--a life changing revelation. I prayed for it and told a group of people it is what I wanted. Finally, all these years after expecting a personal encounter with Jesus (40+) I have a personal, deep relationship with my Lord and it's only the beginning. God used many wonderful people and things including Don Milam's book, The Ancient Language of Eden which touched me deeply, to help me in my process. I'm so grateful for all of them.

Then He directed me to Graham Cooke's ministry and his Cd's have opened up God's love for me in that life changing way I had prayed for. Today I've begun doing a Graham Cooke Journal called Living in Dependency and Wonder and in the introduction he talks about being taken back in a dream to a time of sin when suddenly Jesus stepped into the picture. His shame was incredible but Jesus told him, "Grae," He said gently, "it wasn't your disobedience or your rebellion that grieved Me. Son, I dealt with those issues on the cross. What grieved Me is that you never saw what I wanted to be for you. You never understood what I wanted to give you".


I wept because I didn't understand that either, BUT GOD is opening all that up to me in wonderfully loving new ways. He is wonderful beyond description, He is too marvelous for words and I do stand in AWE of Him and His wonderful process continues. . .

IN CASE OF CONFUSION

Just in case there is any confusion about my last post I believe that as we become conformed to the image of Christ then we do out of that. We are to be obedient but that obedience needs to bring forth the works that will stand up to fire. If we do it out of our flesh, not out of our love and BEing in Christ then we produce hay, straw and stubble. We are not different than the Pharisees.

Christ said to make disciples. We have a choice to walk in love or flesh and from there share the gospel but we will either bring people into an atmosphere where God's love and ways are wonderful or into a religious institution where condemnation is heard more often than forgiveness and growth are experienced or just feel good that we led them to Christ and leave them. Disciples are made through time and caring...

Where's the Love

Yesterday I went with my daughter, son-in-law and their 3 sons to a "seeker sensitive" church. My son-in-law needs Jesus. He needs to know how much Father truly loves him. What we found was do do do. The entire service was so oriented on doing that I wanted to weep.

It began with some old praise and worship songs. Then went into a one person skit. She was talking to God about His wanting obedience and how, in essence, she couldn't live up to His expectations. It went on to her father and how she had wanted to please him and whenever he wanted something he'd order her to get it and never say, "thank you". It seemed to me what it was about was wanting relationship and not finding it with her natural dad so she couldn't find it with Father. She ended by saying, "I'd just like you to tell me Thanks for the coffee". I knew exactly how she felt. BUT GOD has brought me past that; however, the skit didn't.

That made me want to weep, then scream. God's love goes so far beyond that and when we get a revelation of that we start to BE. From that we can then do. I now know he was talking to me and wrapping His arms around me but fear kept it away. The church we visited is so caught up in doing that they never thought to bring God into this skit as He wants to be. They don't seem to know Him that way. And neither did most of the churches I've ever attended.

Religion said, "You HAVE to be here when the doors are open or you are not spiritual", etc. Guilt/condemnation...the pastor's message was full of guilt and condemnation...I want NO MORE of it. I want JESUS! I want Father! I want the Holy Spirit.

A few years ago I was talking to God about not being able to feel His love. It came from the same thing as the skit...I'd never be good enough. And I told God that I knew I didn't love Him like I should. That His Word says I love Him because He first loved me and that I really needed a life changing revelation of that love. It's come! and will continue to come! I am being and from that the desire to love Him and others His way is seeping forth. It will eventually gush forth. I now desire to obey Him because He truly loves me and wants the best for me. I know it deep down. Transformation is happening.

God wants us restored to who He meant us to be. He wants us conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:28-30). But it is His work that does all that. It is our yielding to Him that brings the changes. We can not be or do on our own. We can't save ourselves, He provided that. We can't love on our own, we respond to His love so again He provided the way. He has to give us what He wants because on our own we can't do it. I couldn't be holy on my own. He knows I tried and failed miserably. And so it is with all He wants for us. He provides it.

His love for me is amazing. It's always been there, it's just been polluted with religion and the expectations of others and performance Christianity. If I do all the right things without love then I'm sounding brass. But if I obey God out of a heart of love there is joy!

My son-in-law won't talk to me about Jesus, yet. He needs to know that love that I have and have been doing my best to give, without preaching to my family. Father, Help me and your people GET it and give it to others.

DELIGHT

After Jesus' Baptism He heard:
You are My beloved Son;
I take delight in You! (Holman translation)

When I read this a flood hit my spirit and soul--wonderful God flood.

First I was imagining how Jesus would have felt. Because His father was not his biological father there is a chance He would not have had Bar Mitzvah. This is the time when Jewish boys are validated by thier fathers. Jesus' Father validated Him in an incredible display! Since everything Jesus did on earth was done in His humanity He would have had some kind of emotion about this. From a human standpoint I think it would have been pleasing, exciting, liberating, encouraging and a lot more adjectives besides.

Secondly, it hit me that in this translation they made what was said more PERSONAL. There was something about say, "I delight"...that really spoke to my heart. Then I realized how often we have de-personalized the Gospel. I do not believe this has been intentional but it has happened. Somehow the Gospel was presented to my intellect, not to my heart. The Holy Spirit has been taking it there but when I got saved I repented of my sins and received Jesus as my Savior, even though the words "Come into my heart forever" were part of what I said my intellect was what grew. In fact having an emotional response was taught against. We were not to experience anything spiritual. Yet God wanted to touch me spirit, soul and body. There have been people who prayed for me and I knew deep down that what they were saying came directly from Father to me. Other times I have known the truth of their prayers but the heart of Father was missing.

I have lots of Bible Knowledge but am just getting to know Jesus experientially. Rejection by people and the fear of Father rejecting me caused a fear I was not aware of and it kept Jesus at arm's length. Thankfully that deception has been routed and my relationship with Him is deepening and becoming exciting. I sense Father saying that He's delighting in me too.

Compound National Stronghold: Gossip

A few mornings ago a friend was awakened with this:
Compound national stronghold: GOSSIP.

As I've thought about this The Holy Spirit has been showing me things, how He's worked on me in the past and where this is going.


PROVERBS 18:21 Death and Life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it eat it's fruit. When I realized that this meant I needed to watch my mouth (about 10 years or so ago) God started showing me how often I spoke "death". Not only did I not say loving things to people when I was upset but I gossiped and that is a form of death speaking. There was a time in my life that gossip helped me feel better about myself. If I pointed a finger at someone else then maybe I was better than they were and also maybe someone wouldn't look too closely at me. Root: needed to know God's LOVE for me and others. When I finally got a beginning revelation of that it was easier to have compassion for others. While writing this I heard, "I resist the proud but give grace to the humble". When pointing fingers at someone else pride was there, not humility.
Lately I've been having to be very careful about what I'm saying regarding some people That frustration springs from not liking the way people at my husband's work treat him. For years he and I both spoke "words of death" over them. By that I mean that we talked badly about them, not that we spoke things like I wish they'd die......... BUT GOD has shown us that He's in control, that we need to speak blessings and we don't have a clue what they are rally dealing with in their lives. Most of what I suspect God is showing me right now is my own heart's motives. He's even asking me why I watch so much news and other programs. I'm turning the news off when gossip starts. I always loved reading mysteries and from that came an interesting in the forensic shows, yet there's lot of gossip in them.
In this time of purifying His Body I suspect the core of our thought-life will be challenged and this will have to be implemented: Phil 4: 8Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Because out of the abundance of our heart our mouths speak so we have to have His heart in ours.

This is just the beginning of understanding this. There is gossip every where I turn. God says in Romans 1 it is one of the sins worthy of death.

Giving Credit

I just realized I had not given credit in my last two postings for the quotes. They have come from CD's by Graham Cooke. His website is www.grahamcooke.com.

Negative to Positive

A few weeks ago I was in Florida at my DD's house. My 7 year old grandson and I went out walking. During the conversation I noticed, once again, how much negativity was coming out of his mouth. He loves to make-up stories and they had a negative feel and so did his talk about his friends. Later in the day I was "reading" a book to my 2 year old grandson. He kept pointing to pictures of kids crying and kept saying crying. No matter how hard I tried to show him the next page where things were put right, he went back to the crying page. My DGD (dear granddaughter) who lives with us is also 2. She brought a book to me the other night and when it got to the point where the puppies' bones had been stolen she kept pointing out they were crying and like her cousin, just seemed to be stuck on it.

When God created He said, "It is good".

God is Joy along with all His other attributes and that is GOOD. When Satan fell and then caused man to sin he brought us negativity. We read the Word and don't see God's love, we just see what will happen if we don't toe the line. BUT GOD wants us to have His perspective. His view says that He has good plans for us, for good and not for evil. Recently on a teaching CD I heard, "If the thought you have has gotten you to a point you don't want to be -- GET ANOTHER THOUGHT". As we dig into God's Word we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. If we will allow His Spirit to show us what we are thinking and what to replace it with we will find ourselves in a new place--probably the place God meant for us to be to begin with, the place of good and not evil.

PRESENT-PAST OR PRESENT-FUTURE

Recently I heard a question on a teaching CD -- this question:
"Are you living in your Present-past or your Present-future?"

That began me thinking about where I am now compared to 5 years ago and beyond. For years I was controlled by my past, even though I knew I needed to move past it. Things that had hurt me deeply and caused me to have a wrong idea of who I am and who God is hindered me and I allowed that. It was allowed partly because I didn't know how to rid myself of it.

BUT GOD...most people who know me know that is one of my favorite phrases.

BUT GOD showed up, delivered me of some majorly oppressive spirits and brought people into my life who helped me on a path of inner healing. I no longer had to feel that I was useless, would never measure up or any other negative thing. because God sees me differently and HE LOVES ME! Oh, how He loves me. He's been breaking through all my fears of rejection and helping me experience, feel, rejoice in His Love and that makes all the difference.

One day I told Him that I don't know where I belong. He told me, "You belong to me". What more do I want?

So now I know that I know He's with me, loving me and guiding me. I can live in my Present-future now because no matter what He will be there, see me through it and bring good out of it.

Merriness

Years ago I was at a Worship service and the worship had become free flowing with everyone singing their own song to the Lord. I found myself with my hand in the air making circles. I heard "Make it bigger" so I did. Then I heard, "Step under it" so I did and was singing, "You are King of Kings and Lord or Lords",when I heard, "I'm also Merry". Being very spiritual I said, "WHAT?" The answer was "How do you think a Merry heart does good like a medicine if I'm not good"? And it came to me that all good and perfect gifts come down from the Father so God is Merry.


Recently I've been listening to Graham Cooke teaching CD"s and he says that God is the happiest person he knows.


All this was brought to mind after I posted the last blog. God is showing me that the accuser of the brethren was right there pointing out my bad attitude BUT GOD was saying, "You just wait. She's more sensitive to my Spirit than she's ever been and she will repent". Then when I repented I sense Father was saying, "See, I told you so. She's mine and I will perfect that good work I've begun in her".


Growing up all I saw was frowns about how imperfect I am. And God was taught with that same attitude...He was looking for everything wrong I did and NOTHING WOULD EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH TO PLEASE HIM OR MY PARENTS. At least that was what I was taught and believed. God is still working on me getting the last vestiges of that wrong belief out of me.

A couple years ago I told Father that I knew I didn't love Him like I should but it was because there was something blocking me from receiving His love. And I asked Him to help me be able to love Him. I knew the truth in my head but my heart was really struggling with knowing and experiencing that love. So He's been bringing inner healing and I'm feeling, experiencing His LOVE for me. Now He's adding His Joy to it.


If He wasn't working in me I'd never have been able to receive His gentle loving correction. In the past it took me much longer to realize He was talking to me and correcting me. I love where I am with Him yet I know it will get even better. I'm not where I was, nor where I'm going to be. He wants me transformed yet He is not down on me. His desire is for me to walk in His joy and His love, not in a downtrodden state. As I know and experience His love I am being changed and it's happening more gently and more quickly than it did when there was a blockage to experiencing Him.


Proverbs 22A joyful heart is good medicine,
But a broken spirit dries up the bones.


Luke 15: "I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance"

FOXES AND FRUIT

"The little foxes spoil the vine" is a saying I've heard for years. Actually the Song of Solomon reads, "Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom". (Song of Solomon 2:15 NIV).


That old saying and the verse came to mind yesterday as I was getting more tired and judgment and bad attitude reared their ugly heads.


We were with my daughter and her sons at a restaurant. As I said I was tired. For three weeks I had not had enough rest, had been busy with grandkids (which I loved) and the fibromyalgia was trying to cause a lot of weariness and pain. We were eating and I was wanting more ice tea. It never came. Because of trying to keep the two year old happy I never looked around for the waitress. When we left my husband left a tip but was looking for more one dollar bills when I said, "She wasn't that good".


About 5 minutes later the Holy Spirit finally got my attention. I hated what He was showing me about myself. The waitress looked downtrodden and in need of love and help but I hadn't paid that much attention. He let me know that when I'm tired, hurting or challenged in any way the tests are more critical because they show me what is deep down inside. YUCK!


All this got me wondering about what the little foxes did to spoil the vine so today I googled "foxes". I found that one of their favorite foods is fruit. My fruit was devoured yesterday. It wasn't ripening and whole like it should be. The enemy's desire is to ruin our fruit, destroy our testimony and steal our joy.


BUT GOD has given us repentance, forgiveness, refreshing and restored joy. It is His goodness that leads us to repentance, His mercy that gave us forgiveness and His lovingkindness that brings refreshing joy. All of that runs the little foxes off, at least for a period of time. So instead of staying stuck in a place of self-condemnation (where I use to live) I'm praising God for who He is and what He's done.


With the help of the Holy Spirit the fox was caught before more damage was done, before more fruit was ruined!

THE PROCESS OF SERVANT HOOD

Servant. Servanthood. Bondservant. These words bring forth a cringing response for so many people. In our society being Number 1 is the ultimate. We must be the best, achieve, achieve, achieve that's what we are told to do. We are taught to reach the pinnacle of success. It looks like a pyramid with this wonderful point on top and the base of it full of those who have helped us or whom we have climbed on or over to get there.

As a Christian I am working on learning to serve others and in that to not think more highly of myself than I ought to think. Better put the Holy Spirit is teaching me. This process goes against my flesh--my human fallen nature. I want what I want because I should have it. I like it when I get what I want, have others wait on me, feel important. I like it when other's puff me up.

BUT GOD....

He says that if I want to be great in HIS Kingdom I have to be the servant of all. Paul called himself a Bondservant or Bondslave of Christ. He was imprisoned yet he said he was content and ministered to all he could including the man in charge of keeping him in prison and the prison wasn't neat and clean.

This last month has found me serving my daughter and her family. For a couple weeks I was at her house helping with her 3 boys (my fabulous grandsons). Then we came to my house where my oldest son, his wife and 2 year old daughter along with my husband and I reside. We have given up our room so our daughter and her sons can sleep as normally as possible. Consequently we are sleeping in our living room. My husband on a leaky air mattress and me on a bed that we brought from upstairs. Our living room is a disaster however I'd rather have them around than not. Along with this the pain from the fibromyalgia I keep trying to ignore is increasing. Then almost a month of lack of sleep and no true Christian Fellowship has my attitude trying to slip. Crankiness wanted to take over, then The Holy Spirit reminded me of all the times I wept in the shower because we had no family here. The word "balance" keeps coming to mind and I realize that it's my internal balance that has to become totally stable no matter what. I must have a quiet and gentle spirit. If I keep my mind focused on Him I will.

When we moved to this little country town across the country from where we lived I left a 3 year old grandson and a 3 week old granddaughter. All comfort was ripped away. Yet, God had told us to come. I have often wondered how Sari (later Sarah) felt when Abraham told her they were going.

Then I remembered Jesus. He left His home in obedience to Father. He served, and served and served. In fact when you look at His Kingdom structure it is an upside down triangle. The more you die to self, the farther down you go so that you can be a servant like Christ. It is Father who will exalt us and only if we are humble.

And the process will continue......................