A HINDERANCE

When I got saved studying the Bible was paramount. I was so blessed in that I was with a group of people hungry for God. So I learned a lot. Some things changed in me but I hit a brick wall and the religious spirit that I already had I kept. I was a pharisee. Thankfully God did not leave me like that.

People who seek Him will go through process. It can be very disconcerting, and that is a mild word for it. There were periods where I had no idea why I was going through what I was going through. Prayer wasn't working, or so it seemed. For ages things just stayed static. I kept hanging on to Romans 8:28. Finding out what I was going through was to turn me into the image of Christ came as a shock, then as an eye opening blessing. I had prayed to be changed, He was working to do that but I WAS THE HINDRANCE. He resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. I was not humble. I was proud because I was better than the person I was dealing with (God doesn't agree with that). I was proud because I went to a church that taught the truth and the others were deluded. Even though at that time I didn't realize how much pride was there I began to allow God to put me through more process. Without specifically saying, “I repent” for pride I did humble myself and say, "Here I am and I have need of you doing something". He is so gracious, so loving and so willing to work in us. But He resisted me for ages, because of pride. It wasn't a demonic spirit that resisted me although it might have helped me stay stuck, but God was resisting me.

There is much more He's done and is doing in me. I have to remember Jesus is gentle and humble of heart. Father wants me to be that way too. He will get me there.

LAKELAND THOUGHTS

For months now I've had many things in my in-box regarding the Lakeland Outpouring. I finally tried to watch it a few weeks after it began and after 5 minutes I had to turn it off. Deep down I sensed there was something very wrong. I tried to talk to my husband about it without being the accuser of the brethren. What I finally was able to say, at first, is My Jesus is meek and humble of heart. He says so and I didn't find that when I watched but I only watched a few minutes. I had no idea what else was going on. Just had no peace to continue. Honestly, I was very upset and the fear of the Lord was very much with me as I did not want to say or do anything against what He would want.

Garry was able to watch and he couldn't watch any more either. We tried hard to discern how to pray. Our desire was not to judge any one but to KNOW Jesus and know what He was saying about it all. So we prayed that His Kingdom would come and His will be done. We prayed that people would truly be healed, set free and come to know Jesus.

Some of what has been in my in-box has appalled me as a judgmental spirit was very strong. There was much condemnation, arrogance, finger pointing. That probably bothered me even more than what I saw on TV. People in ministry have so much of the enemy looking to destroy them. It's very easy to “arm chair quarterback”, but being in the trenches is hard. It's tiring and if we are not Strong in HIM we are in trouble. To point fingers shows great pride and a lack of humility—I know, I've been a good finger pointer in my day. Thankfully God hasn't given up on me and His transforming work continues. He resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.

I kept wondering where were the mature believers? Where are those who understood that you go to the Lord in prayer for people who you perceive are off base? Where was the accountability for Todd? Did he have any? Did people really seek God before publicly condemning him?

Evidentially he did not have a good accountability group. That is so dangerous. It has proved so for he and his family.

I have had people tell me how excited they were about what was going on in Lakeland. So many of them are so hungry to see the truth of God's word in the natural. Many are led by their emotions. Many, supposedly older believers, don't know the Word. In Hebrews 5 it says:

14But solid food is for the mature,

who because of practice

have their senses trained to

discern good and evil.

The word “senses” means our bodily senses. It's not just a spiritual discerning.

Unfortunately many people have stayed very young in the Lord, allowing their pastors to spoon feed them and never learning to feed themselves. Pastors have been, in some cases, very happy to do this for them. Yet the 5 Fold Ministry is to equip the saints for the work of ministry.

Through all this I have sensed Father shaking everything in us that can be shaken. I think He allowed all this to happen to show us what is in us, how much we don't know, how much more our hearts have to be changed. His heart is not to destroy, not to loose wrath, but to love us and turn us into what He really meant in Genesis for us to be—made in the image and likeness of God. So He causes all things to work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose; for those whom He foreknew He also predestined TO BECOME CONFORMED TO THE IMAGE OF HIS SON, the first born among many brethren. Jesus can not have a Bride with spot and wrinkle. We are to beholy and mature.

Please remember to pray for those who minister to you, not just your pastors but those who have ministries on-line, on TV, or any place else. Pray for Todd and his family. Pray for those who were deceived, who were hurt, who are confused by all this. New believers can be truly devastated by all that has happened and they need people to lovingly come along side of them and show them God's love and truth. Pray for yourselves that deception and denial will be removed and kept far from you.

Your mercies Lord are remarkable. It truly is wonderful that you chose to love us and redeem us and not consume us with judgmental fire. Lord, we ask that you put your eye salve on our eyes so we can see clearly. We need to KNOW your Word, not just read it, but to have it deep within us. We need you, we need you to guide us in everything. Clear our ears so that we hear more clearly. We need a greater revelation of your love for us, your love for all. Show us our hearts Lord so that we may repent and allow your transforming work in us. We desperately need the the

Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of power,
the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD -

Especially Lord, the Reverential Fear of the Lord. In Jesus Name.

LAUGHING AT MYSELF

This week I have to take an on-line test for the ICIT course I'm taking. The multiple choice questions are very easy. So are the 2 essay questions, except you can only have 10 to 20 sentences and you have to reiterate only what was covered in the material. I'm use to having to do 10-18 page papers in which I do research, express myself and quote others. The test is open book so we have been told it's best to type it in a Word document and then copy and paste it into the test.

I've been working on these few short sentences for a week.......sheesh.

The other night I dreamed I was sitting at an old tymie table next to Sherlock Holmes who was correcting my essay questions. Much to my horror I got a C. I said something to the effect that I had tried so hard not to put myself into it that I went too far the other way. He nodded his head and left the table.

So I am laughing at myself. I do like getting good grades but the reason for taking this course is the impartation and looking to be transformed. So for it to bother me to the point of having Sherlock show up makes me really laugh--at me. You can too.

MORE POOL FUN WITH THE GRANDS

Not having most of our family close by is hard but we sure enjoy them when they are here. This week was a real blessing and I thanked God daily for it.

He loves to swim.

Cannon Ball?

The fun of trying to get a group shot.

He's enjoying feeding the horse.