THICK HEADED ... BUT GOD . . .

For ages I had no vision for myself. Disappointment and crashed dreams brought in a sense of overwhelming defeat and fear. BUT GOD. . .

A couple years ago I was trying to increase my vocabulary and the first word I learned and the only one I remember was

factotum

1 : a person having many diverse activities or responsibilities
2 : a general servant

The other day when asking God what His vision of me is that was the word I heard. It is exactly what He's had me doing for ages. A little of this or that as He needs it. So God has a vision for me, He has dreams for me even if I am too thick to see them.

Then Sunday we were driving back from our daughter's and a business trip when my husband asked me what dreams had died. So I told him that I'd dreamed of the way I would parent and failed at that. I had wanted to use my mother's house for ministry after her death but sold it. (I am an only child so the house was held in trust for me) I had wanted to be a GRANDMA...kids at the house, etc. (We have 8 grands, one here, 3 in Fl and 4 out west).

I had failed in many ways as a parent BUT GOD has changed me and relationships are being healed and that dream is coming true. My idea for my mom's house had been for things like using it for missionaries on furlough, etc. BUT GOD had other ideas. Our home has been partially bought with my inheritance. We have had Bible studies, house church and at 3 different times young people who needed a place to live were with us. We now have family living with us. SO GOD used her house for ministry.

15 years ago we made a down payment on a rental house which now has a single mom and her 2 kids living in it. Our relator told us she took a chance on them and they have been great tenats for 2 years now. We have never had the house vacant and other tenants have received prayer they may not have had ascent for them. We have a grand daughter living here, I get to see my grandsons in FL every few weeks and they and I love it. On Dec. 1 I fly to CA for 6 weeks so for that time I get to build better relationships with my kids and have a blast with the grands out there.

As I saw this I fell apart. You know the kind of falling apart-when the Spirit touches you and there's nothing else to do. Just because it didn't look like I thought it would didn't mean those dreams weren't from God. It didn't mean they were dead. I repented for being so blind, dense and thick headed. One of my prayers has been for Him to open the eyes of my heart to whatever He needs me to see regarding Him. WOW.

Not only did my dreams not totally die but I am doing diverse things as directed by The Holy Spirit. Now I have to repent for how I resented my husband insisting on mom's house being sold. God did direct through my head...just like He says He does. DUH

Thank you Abba Daddy for being so merciful, so incredibly loving and giving so much grace to me. You are AWESOME and you, who measures the universe by the span of you hand, has revealed Your love and care for me.
Romans 5:5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.